Three Ways to Find Parenting Peace, Joy, and Glee in 2023
It’s January! Happy New Year! Whether you make resolutions or consider January a reset, here are a few ideas on creating a positive path to parent wellness in 2023.
Yes, I said parent wellness, not parent perfection!
1. Notice what is going well.
In his book, Before Happiness, The Five Hidden Keys to Achieving Success, Spreading Happiness, and Sustaining Positive Change, Shawn Achor defines the positivity ratio, citing powerful research by the mathematician Marcial Losada and University of North Carolina psychologist Barbara Fredrikson, “Unfortunately, our brains are wired to seek and find negatives. We, as human beings, are already good at that. This is because, to survive on the savanna, our primitive brains had to respond to threats faster than to emotions like happiness or gratitude. That’s why retraining our brains to find the positive is where the real work begins.” The researchers revealed that when people have three positive thoughts to every negative thought, “they are more optimistic, are happier, and feel more fulfilled.”
How can we use this information to inform our parenting practice? I often ask clients to write down three things that went well with their child today, or, if they are experiencing a challenge with a particular child, write down three things that went well with that child today. When we repeat the process over time, we train our brains to see the positive, which can change everything! Download the positivity pdf here.
2 - Create a self-encouragement phrase and post it on your mirror, fridge, or steering wheel.
My favorite phrase is, “It doesn’t have to be perfect.” Workshop participants have shared a variety of versions, including “You are doing your best,” “You are a good mom,” and “You’ve got this!
3. Remember your sense of humor - no matter what!
I cannot overstate the potential impact of this tool! When we take ourselves less seriously, everything seems easier. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. — Phyllis Diller
